Independence is already a tricky concept, but it’s even trickier as someone with disabilities. We grapple with it on many fronts, in some ways having to accept the things we can’t do and cling so tightly onto aspects of it that we have. It’s a double edged sword that never gets easier.
After all, the more independence we find, the drunker we get on it. But, as humans, the more independent we become, the harder it is to rely on other people, people that we love and need. And for disabled people, its even harder when we know we need people but sometimes find so much more satisfaction in not needing them.
I can’t speak on everyone’s experience, but I can speak on my own. And I personally struggle with independence like it’s a fucking demon on my back, but a demon that I’m madly in love with.